Hope and Heroes in Haiti
On the afternoon of April 13th (Day 2), I was able to talk to my wife for the first time since being kidnapped the day before. She was understandably quite emotional.
My wife, Mary, is the mother of seven children and a strong woman. I was attracted to her strength within minutes of meeting her more than 20 years ago. She commands respect and I absolutely love that about her.
However, she’s also a bit of a worrier. They say that courage doesn’t mean you aren’t afraid, but rather that you face your fears and do the thing anyway. My wife has always been courageous. She’s afraid of everything, spiders, roller coasters, my driving, our childrens’ puke, my past business decisions, our trips to Haiti —all of it. But if there is a reason to face her fears, she always seems to summon the courage.
Knowing of her strength and courage, when I spoke to her for the first time from captivity, I was hopeful that she would handle the situation well. I knew it would be a harrowing experience for us both but I was hopeful that we would make it through. On that day, the kidnappers were still treating me relatively humanely. I tried to reassure her that I would be okay. I was naively expecting this ordeal to last a few days - maybe a week.
When I spoke to her again around Day 5, we could both barely speak through our emotions. I have the recording of the phone call. It’s rough. On the call, I was able to tell her that I had some things in the works to pay a hefty ransom and that we should be out of this nightmare in just ‘a few more days’.
What I didn’t know at the time, was that Mary was actively working against me.
That may seem strange. It was.
By day five, my wife had already spoken with the U.S. Embassy and the F.B.I. and learned that she would need to lead the entire effort to secure my release. The F.B.I. could be a guide on the side to provide local intel gleaned from other cases but the vast majority of the work would need to be done by others. Following what was likely an unimaginable shock/grief cycle, Mary went to work. She began networking with our trusted friends, interviewing and screening potential team members, subject matter experts, logistics support people, Kreyol speaking negotiators, and others. She had to lock down our financial accounts, move money, change passwords and more. All while trying to manage our seven children and their various reactions to their missing father while keeping it all quiet.
My wife is incredible, I’ve always known that, but this - this was something I never could have imagined.
Meanwhile, in my cell in Haiti on day five, I was fine. It was miserable but tolerable. I’m former military and while it’s been a while, you train to be uncomfortable. I was fine. My heaviest burden at that point was imagining my family’s trauma. My mind was focused on getting back to them as fast as humanly possible. It’s hard to explain the intensity of the drive I felt to return home. Since my aforementioned ‘get out of jail free cards’ had all failed I was now ready to pay any ransom to get back to Mary and my children. I know the basics of negotiation and certainly didn’t plan to pay the amount they were demanding, but was confident that I could eventually get a deal done. I hated these gangs and knew that they would take my money and buy guns and ammunition to rain further terror onto the Haitian people. The gun fire around my cell was all day, throughout the day, most days. It was sometimes just feet away from our barred windows. But from my perspective in that cell, I wasn’t focused on the downside of paying a large ransom. I was focused on getting back to my wife and children immediately —no matter the cost.
Mary, on the other hand, was talking with experts on Haitian kidnappings. She had trending data on captivity times, ransom levels and non-monetary release factors. She now knew where the ransom money would go just as I did.
In 2021, there was a group of 17 American missionaries that were kidnapped about thirty minutes drive from where I was being held. I followed that case closely. I told Mary at that time how concerned I was that the gangs were now even brazen enough to kidnap Americans. I was concerned that if a ransom was paid for their release, that ransom amount would be the new price on my head when doing my work in Haiti. I knew it was terrible to ask those 17 missionaries to suffer for the rest of us, but I prayed that they would stay strong long enough for some non-monetary solution to develop.
Mary knew that she couldn’t let me pay top dollar or I would never forgive myself.
That knowledge put her in an impossible position. In order for her to do the right thing, she would have to actively work against me and my attempts to pay big and fast. She would have to choose to leave me in there! It brings me near to tears any time I consider her being stuck in such a miserable moral pressure cooker.
You might wonder why she couldn’t just tell me all this over the phone so we could at least be aligned, but as you can imagine, she and my team knew that captors typically listen to every word of every phone call. So she couldn’t signal to the kidnappers what their plans were. My team knew we were all likely going to be in this for four to six weeks. I did not.
Mary thwarted every plan I attempted in an effort to pay big and fast. It took a couple weeks for me to ‘get the message’, given the very little contact I had with my team. It then took me a bit longer to swallow that pill and get on board with the virtues of the long game.
I remember looking up at the ceiling one day and making peace with the idea that my family and I had a responsibility to endure this well by being an unprofitable captive. We needed to pay small and pay slow, and thereby make kidnapping foreigners less attractive. If Mary was willing to sacrifice in this way then I could join her. I am so deeply grateful that she was willing and that I eventually followed her.
I was not allowed to speak to Mary again until about Day 33. I was in a pretty bad place physically and mentally by that point. On the phone with her I remember being immediately struck by her focus. She had a plan, she had a set of things she needed me to understand and information she needed to try to gather from me. She was all business.
In the hours following that call, my spirits soared. Not simply because I spoke to her, but because of who I could see my wife had become. My worst fears the previous month of captivity were surrounding the impact this ordeal was having and would have on my family. I could never have imagined the powerhouse Mary would become during all of this. However, within moments of hearing her voice on that phone, I detected her transformation. It was equally remarkable and thrilling to my soul.
In the weeks following my release, I was able to speak to each of the members of my rescue team. As I expressed my gratitude for their varied contributions to my safe release, they all responded the same way. They all pointed to Mary. They were in awe of her. They mentioned her emotional strength, her tirelessness, her motivational leadership and her careful and prayerful discernment in the face of frequent mortal peril. They pointed to occasions where her insights and decisions proved pivotal, including the critical decision she made on day 43 that ended up being the key to my release. They couldn’t stop praising her heroism and wouldn’t stop until they felt like they had given me some idea of the awe they felt toward her. I hope you are starting to feel that same sense of awe as well.
She faced truly malevolent villains with remarkable courage, at a significant cost.
That is heroic sacrifice.
So many sacrificed so much to secure my release. Some were friends and family, some were total strangers who each dropped everything, put their businesses and families aside and focused on rescuing me for what ended up lasting six weeks.
That is heroic sacrifice.
It’s an inspiring thing to witness heroism.
As a young man I began to see people dedicate their lives to rescuing others. The fights against disease, poverty, child trafficking and many others each have so many heroes that have stepped up, raised their hand, rolled up their sleeves and gotten to work. Some make a dramatic career change, others write a check or simply begin getting educated. I’ve always admired each of those heroes that take on responsibility from which they could reasonably absolve themselves. They decide to sacrifice —to serve.
That is heroic sacrifice.
Sometime in 2022 I was in Boucan Ferdinand, a tiny village in the mountains of eastern Haiti only accessible by foot, mule or motorcycle. The people were starving. I wanted to help and suggested we plant fruit trees amongst other remedies. They said thank you but asked instead for a road to be built so they could bring a well digging truck into their village so they could have easier access to water. As best I could estimate, these families spent about 1/3 of their working capital securing water to drink. A well would be a massive boost in their standard of living. At the time, I didn’t know how to build the road they desired, so I declined. They accepted my offer to plant fruit trees. We grew and planted tens of thousands of Avocado, Mango, Citrus and more. They were deeply grateful.
They came to me again to ask for a road to be built. I told them how difficult I thought that would be. The road would need to be about 2.5 miles long through steep rocky terrain. Not thinking they’d take me up on it, I then flippantly offered that if they built the road themselves, I would bring a well truck in to dig the well.
A few weeks later, I received these two videos:
I was astonished. Boucan Ferdinand had organized itself into a small army and were digging this road through rock with hand tools. They would eventually wear those picks and shovels down to nothing. Many of the men were missing normal work opportunities to spend time on the road. After a few months of this, many of the men were going two or three days without eating but still working long days on the road.
I arrived on the '‘job site’ for the first time and was stunned by their capacity to work and their determination to achieve their goal to finish this road and the subsequent well. I chatted with some of the men and learned of their hunger. I watched as they divided my bag of granola and six or seven protein bars into tiny portions to share with one another.
These men with picks and shovels and the many women carrying rocks on their heads are heroes to their families and their communities. They sacrifice greatly for others.
That is heroic sacrifice.
Months earlier, I spoke to one of the oldest men in the village while he was helping us plant fruits trees. It was hot and the work was hard on all of us but of particular difficulty for him. He thanked us for helping his village and then joked that he would not be alive to eat any of the fruit from the trees we were planting. He was likely wrong given that these trees were grafted and will likely begin yielding fruit in two years from replanting, but that’s besides the point. He was willing to sacrifice for others expecting nothing in return and that inspires me deeply. He is a hero in my eyes and I want to help him.
I see heroes like him all over Haiti that are willing to sacrifice for others and I want to help them all —but to do that I need your help.
I hope that you’ve felt inspired by the heroism of my wife Mary and the other men and women that stepped up to sacrifice and rescue me from captivity. I hope you’ve felt inspired by the men and women of Boucan Ferdinand who heroically fight to free each other from the captivity of poverty. I hope you feel inspired to sacrifice something for the many heroes in Haiti that are trying to lift their country.
I need you to be the hero now. It’s time. It’s your time.
Heroes helping heroes.
Sacrifice something.
Here are some options:
Share this article. Donate. Most importantly, contact your Senator and Congressional Representative today, to let them know how you feel. This kind of thing really works! You can send an email or leave a voicemail.
Tell them that you support candidates who support foreign aid to Haiti and that you would like to see our aid budgets prioritize economic development spending well above other types of aid spending in Haiti. That’s it!
Yes, it takes more than one phone call, so get your friends to do it too. Then let us know you did it. We’d love to hear back from you!
Thank you for fighting for the freedom of the Haitian people! They need you!
